our 5 cents
San Francisco made an offer. I'm FREAKING out.
I think I'm gonna take it girls.
I only wish I had a man to rub. Waah!
Oh girls, not working has made me so lazy. I just don't feel like spending money and then I don't feel like going out at all. It is SO bad. I've turned totally lazy. TOTALLY.
I have nothing interesting to report. No call from San Fran yet. Boo.
Oh..for you Montrealers..I'm coming hom on the 9th (of November) so get ready for me. Understand (OOTG - breakfast??)!
I can't wait to see you guys. :)
I have nothing going on so nothing to report. I'm BORING.
BORING. Nice changes OOTG...you are such a good administrator. You rock.
me: so you wanna go upstairs and do it?
him: aww babe, im soooo tired. can you ust rub me?
you will note that one of the girls has been busy as a bee this morning. aside from making meatballs, vegetable sauce and butternut squash soup, she has worked on our blog. you can observe with glee that she has gotten our names to appear at the end of each post. you will also absorb joyfuly the list of previosly posted items in the sidebar to your right. as for changing the font, it can be done in the post section, as per the posters delight. but let's not let it get out of control. (i know i am asking for trouble by saying that!) is it really too much to ask that we indulge this blogger's anality? she who is writing this loves the grey black and white cool look of the blog.
i am going into the corner to weep.
It is 9:45AM and I have a stomach ache from eating too much candy already!
I LOVE HALLOWEEN!!!!
Also - from now on please let's all SIGN our bloggeroos because I don't always know who is writing them.
also - Mysterioso - how did you change your font? Let us all in on the secret.
And yes Miss Kay, what is with the tires?
-hickteeth (full of chocolate)
Is she a Nightmare? Or a Wet Dream?
I hope my 'loween costume inspires both feelings of lust and fear... but I'll let you decide. Enjoy the pics..... if you dare..... or desire.....
Zombie School Nurse
Cheryl and Louis: they were killed in a car accident on the way to the prom
Bullet Wound Patient
Birthday Girl Jenny and Jon
Believe me, I deserved it
This guy had a good costume. He was cute, too.
A Little Laff for my GirlzzzzHey!! The problem is solved! I can edit, attach pics and make my entries beeeyooooteeefulllllll.... starting NOW.Chequitia out: AHa Family Guy
Ummm... OOTG, this blog looks different from my blog. I am at a loss as to how to attach pictures, change the font etc. On mine I am able to change the settings, background colour, et al. Do you have these abilities and not us? NOT FAIR!! We should be able to change the way this thing looks to surprize our friends. And furthermore, an link on the side to our old blog posts would be cool so when we have been writing for months, we can go back and revisit our favourite ones.
Why is this blog different from all other blogs?
Also, I want to post some pics of my fabulous, horrifying, lust-inducing Hallowe'en costume!!
Showers, pee, San Fran
Hello girls! How are you all? Miss Kay..what exactly do you need 250 used tires for? What is going on out there?
So, a friend of mine (JP
) posted an interesting question on her blog. I feel this follows along with Ms.M's pee in the bowl before it flushes game. So JP was asking if you get in the shower and stand there facing the water or away. Apparently, according to her research, men get in and face the word and women immediately face away. Input? Opinions?
Also, toilet paper. Apparently women scrunch and men fold.
So San Fran was ok. Lots of travelling, not lots of time. But I got a call from their HR telling me they are very interested in me. EEP! I'm so nervous about the possibility of moving. So much so that I haven't really talked about it at all. I'm in major avoidance mode.
So, what is everyone up to for Halloween? Costumes?
Tell me tell me tell me!
Ahhhh and she appears!
Won't lie, I've been busy. What exactly have I been doing. Well let's see, in the last week I have - built a kitchen, bought a car, built a store, discovered the process to make neon and found out that it is really easy to get your hands on 250 used tires, it's getting rid of them that is the hard part!
And now just as I sit down to write this I have to go.
But halloween is upon us and I've been too busy to even think about it.
What am I going to do? HELP!
A Bathroom Game for Men
Girls, it has come to my attention that it is not uncommon for men to play a little game with the toilet called "Beat the Flush". This involves flushing the toilet prior to completion of urination and "racing", if you will, with the spiralling stream of water. It appears this practice has become a ritual, a phenomenon. I have asked several men and 80% of those interviewed know exactly what it is and play it occasionally or often.
What is the female perspective on such a juvenile diversion?
Please, pose the question to other young males you know and let's find out how widespread this thing is!
on eating moldy tomato sauce from a jar
am i gonna die?
i have come accross the use of this word
three times in the past 2 days. much appreciation to those
who have directed me to it. it is completely fitting with the abundance of porn talk of late.
i thought you guys might enjoui.
i am amused and perturbed all at the same time.
Well, here I am in my little office with the door closed, wolfing down my lunch, waiting for a Dyslipidemia Webcast to finally download on my computer so I can watch. I keep getting an "internal server" error. What is a Dyslipidemia Webcast, you may ask? Well, apparently it's something I will not be partaking in today. What is an Internal Server, you may ask? Fucked if I know! (so you know i definitely don't know).
To pass the time, I will give you some funny little anecdotes, or just anything I can think of.
Yesterday, an 8 year old autistic kid tore up my office and crushed his cheese-flavoured goldfish crackers all over my carpeted floor (it's the only thing he'll eat, other than Sunny-D, hence the reason for seeing a dietitian).
My hyper aerobics teacher was dancing and singing all over the class. He stopped in front of one girl and she told him she had "switched" (ie: went down to a lower weight set). He replied: "I swtiched too, about 10 years ago. I ditched the bitch and made the switch."
I have a piece of apple core wedged between 2 teeth! It's stuck there and I am without floss! Even the hairs from my head break upon impact! Oh, woe is me, how the heck am I gonna get this out???
I was MSN'ing a friend of mine in Argentina.
Me: I have a spanish question for you. If "cucaracha" is a cockroach......... then is a "cuca" a cock?
Him: BBBBWWWWAAAHAHAHAHAHAHA !!!!!!!1
Me: Uh..... I guess not.
Then I learned that cock is "verga" or "pija" both, interestingly, are feminine nouns.
Other cool spanish words: ferrocarril (train tracks)- really roll those rrrrr's, sorprendentemente (surprisingly), lavavajillas (dishwasher). Oh the places you'll go when you have the incredibly useful Spanish vocabulary that I do.
OK webcast officially not gonna happen. Hope you pretties are having a nice day. Ellas son divinas mi chicas!!
I have major problems with the public washroom here at work, and if you all lived in the Mont, you'd all know about it! I.e., OOTG and Cuddles have heard my woes (and whoas).
Upon approaching the house of thrones today, I smelled THAT smell - all the way in the hall! I smelled a similar smell yesterday.
The ladies' room is equiped with a bottle of industrial strength orange stink which can - supposedly - kill and/or overpower any other smell that dares get in its way. HOWEVER - this smell, the one I've smelled for 2 days in a row now, does not have the orange killer I am so used to in it - it smells like... mint of some kind.
It smells as if someone's ass chewed a piece of Trident.
I can't take it. I'm going to have to go the "Carolyn Nessim" route (Ms Mysterioso knows her - she went to our high school) who swore she never ever used the 'throom at school. What will power!
The Loneliness of Another's
Ok you little Miss "afternoon romp with a man with whom I share a bed" thanks for the rubbing of the love of the heavenly nap in my face. Let me describe to you, and y'all, my sleep experience. Very comfortable bed, yes. I love the city light cast through my horizontal blinds and the hum of the downtown traffic at night. I am just settling down to sleep alone, thinking: "Jeez, some sex would be nice one of these days" when WHAM! I am pounded on by a cat, attacking my feet whenever they twitch a half-millimetre. Then finally, cat settles down on my pillow. KABOOM!! One cat is attacked by another and there is meowling, wrestling, clawing, and hissing beside me. That fades to a low growl. In the morning I am woken up to my right (not left, always right) arm being mauled by little cat's extra-sharp claws (you should see my scarred and mutilated arm). When I tuck myself completely under the warm soft sheets to escape, all I can hear is "meow. Meow. MEOW. MEEEEOOOOOWWWRRRRR" cause someone is going cuckoo for catfood.
THAT'S MY FREAKIN' BED EXPERIENCE!!
the joys of one's bed
ahhh the fuzzy yumminess of crawling into your own bed.
it is no secret to all of you here that i am a fan of the nap. i am sure that i have fallen into slumber at each and every one of your homes (at some point in some city...). i can hardly think of a better activity. but take said nap and plunk it down in your own bed, and well, we have heaven in heaven.
there are a number of factors that contribute to this perfect state. let's commence with the environment. my can nap when it's cold, when it's warm, when it's rainy, when it's just plain yucky grey out. but my favorite time is when it's sunny. the light filtered by the tree outside streams in my bedroom window and brightens the rasperry colour of the walls. i am in a womb of coziness. the window must be cranked open a bit, as to let in the rustling of the leaves and a semi-cool breeze.
the coolity brings ont the second factor: the covers. crisp and fresh and perfectly tucked in, i say! sheets that make a little rustle sound when you move. mmm, mmm, mmm. topped by a plush duvet. now there must be enough as to be able to bring covers close to the body for extra snuggliness.
perfection number 3 is the matress. i never knew i could be in love with a matress. upon moving in with the c, i sent him shopping for the bed of divinity. oh and he found it all right. this is when i truly learned that a nap anywhere is not the same as a nap in my own bed. its a queen, and its wonderful when i'm all alone.
and the best way to wake up form a nap? have someone climb in and seduce you out of your slumber....
The Mug That Changed Everything
Well, my do-gooder cousin can do no more good in Africa as he has now returned from said place due to Malaria followed by Intestinal Typhoid. He's ok - don't worry. But there's a whole alotta tropical diseases to catch out there in the world.
Today I have decided to turn things around for myself. I began the day by calling OOTG to complain about my pants-too-short (I think they shrunk in the wash), boots too old (decrepit and gross-looking combo. I was feeling quite OOT* with the fashion world and just all around loser-ish (see "Posh Spice" entry below) IYKWIM**.
After the compainotron phonecall (in which OOTG handled my superficial whining with grace and dignity) I went to get myself a coffee and noticed a new mug sitting there - from the tv station "Drive-In Classics" and boy did I love it! After seeing how I was enjoying the coffee that came forth from aforementioned cup-o-joy, one of the english editors (to whom the cup was sent) gave it to me and SHAZAM! good mood! Giggly even!
I guess the lesson here is : a good mug can make even the geekiest most OOT girl ok again.
This year - you all get Jen Mugs for xmas! OMG... now I HAVE to do it.... YAY!
*Out Of Touch
**If You Know What I Mean
A Bump on A Log (not that kind of log, Sicko!)
That show she speaks of- it's wrong, wrong, WRONG!
And the brunch she speaks of - it was deeee-lish.I, as well, have been neglecting my "Our 5 Cents" duties. What I have not been neglecting however, is running myself ragged when I am away from home, then slumping on my couch to fester and rot for the time I have to relax. My place is a mess, I haven't done my Spanish homework, I think there are some liquified veggies in my fridge. Ho Hum.This weekend is party hearty Halloween time! Whatchoo gals doing? Handy the Candy or Party the Hearty?Some input on my costume-in-progress would be mucho appreciado (Disclaimer: that might not actually be a Spanish word). Picture it: sexy, yet frightening. A healer, and a killer. She hands out a lollipop to console you, then bites off your head. Yes, ladies, I am going as the Sexy Zombie School Nurse.
Items acquired: white nurses dress, long flowy pink wig, red fishnets, stethoscope
Needed: Belt containing "nursing tools" ie: vials of urine, syringes of blood, small plastic spiders, face makeup for "horrifying, bloodcurdling" look that is sure to shock and awe!, lollipops.
More spine-chilling and horrendous OR sensual and lusty ideas would be, again, mucho appreciado.
To remove myself from Bump-on-a-Log status, I am off to do some real work at my real job for which they are paying me to do something other than blogginate with my friends.... I think....
Also, I want to discuss the bidet. What's everyone's take on it (speaking of anus')? Why are the europeans so obsessed? What exactly are they for?
Ok, I admit it. I have sinned. I have had little or no input here. Waaaah! I just have nothing girls. NOTHING. I'm up at 8am watching Saved By the Bell (an episodei n which they all join some cadet program and have an athletic competition where all the dquipment is set up in the halls of the school. WEIRD). Does that explain how bad my life has gotten? DOES IT? And then Dawson's Creek which makes me cry every single episode. I'm going crazy.
So Ms.Mysterioso made me brunch this weekend and it was DELISH and we watched my new fave show. It's called Drawn Together
. Animated series that is SO not politically correct. You will all love it. I swear. Lots of poop, fart, and sex jokes. Everything about it is SO wrong. Gloriously wrong. Back me up Ms.M! It is a Big Brother-esque show where a bunch of cartoon characters live in a house together. The world's first animated reality show. All the characters are stereotypes of cartoon chatacters (i.e. Princess Clara is a Disney-esque princess, Ling-Ling is like Pokemon, Xandir is a video game character, Toots Braunstein is a 20's sex symbol a la Betty Boop, etc..). It is so funny.
Anyone want to come to San Fran with me for the night? Booo.
on not blogging
it has come to omy attention that there are those that are shirking their blogsabilities. do you not enjoy? do the creative juices not flow? do you not wish to amuse your fellow laydeez? or do the words anus, stool and defecating offend your senses?
I didn't have a great weekend girlz, it's true.
then I came into work and Posh Spice asked me how my weekend was. I said "not great", I did laundry, studies etc... I got an unwelcome and uncalled-for reaction of "oh" with disgusted face. I then added, "but I went to the insectarium... that was fun". "Oh, you have kids?" she asked.. me "... no..." her "???!??.. but well, I figured since you were there" (emphasis on the word THERE) Me "no, I just like that stuff... " her --> running as fast as pointy toed shows can carry her away.
Now I ask you ladies - wouldn't YOU go to the insectarium? I discovered amazing things such as : there is an insect in Quebec who can sense the vibrations of larvae in trees and then inserts its probiscus into the wood to lay its egg on the larva so that when its egg hatches it can EAT THE OTHER LARVA ALIVE to feed itself. Isn't that FASCINATIING? and horribly violent?
Who wouldn't want to learn amazing things like that?
on gaping anus holes
while discussing her studies with one of the girls, our resdent student of homeopathy recounted some of the symptoms that would result in the taking of a particular remedy. symptom was described as such: "hollow sensation in the anus and rectum after stool".
i never would have guessed. who knew?
(who wants to know???)
The midnight bandit
I was reading the last few entries at my parents' place (as I do laundry of course) and laughing out loud when mom yells out "what's so funny?" "I'm just reading emails mom!" "Oh, well, that's nice dear"...
BTW - was it necessary in the run-down of the name to leave in the line where One of the Girls mentions "going to see if I'm pregnant"?
And BTW OOTG, I empathise with your lack of plumber butt. That's unfortunate.
I'll leave you all with a short story that both annoyed and amused me.
It was a cool October night and HickTeeth and her boyfriend Cuddles were eating a nice healthy salad for dinner. Too finish it off, they shared a large chocolate cookie that filled them right up. But Hick Teeth was unable to finish her half of the chocolate-packed deliciousness and Cuddles suggested "saving the rest for later". "What a fine ides cuddles, wickety-wack!" so she wrapped it up and left it on the counter.
The next morning.... HickTeeth wakes up (Cuddles is off to work already) and makes her lunch. She reaches for her remaining cookie ... when ... shazam! It's gone!
Hick Teeth calls Cuddles in a panic "Cuddles! My cookie is gone!" "Uh....yes, I must have sleptwalked..." "Wu du fu?!? sleptwalked? What?" "I ate it" "when? In the middle of the night?" " ... ya." "you woke up in the middle of the night and ate my cookie piece?"
The answer... was affirmative.
OMG! How did you know about the Crystal Meth addiction Hick? HOW DID YOU KNOW?
It is just because I long to actually have the teeth we so often wear in plastic form. I feel that the appropriate way to make that happen is begin a drug addiction. As for Ms.M and I..we have a hot date for Sunday. Woohoo!
(I was teasing about the email..re: you not getting alllll our messages and us filling up your mailbox. I love you man. I LOVE YOU).
I just went for Dim Sum for the first time ever here in TO. Woohooo! Miss K..where do you usually go?
Creating "Our 5 Cents"
Yesterday marked an important occasion in the lives of 5 unusual girls, a day that ensured that our creative side would not turn to fuzzy blueberry, a day when hilarity and belly bursting laughter could commence once again, a day which will be celebrated annually with parades and free popcorn. Face painting for the kids!
The history of such an event should be recorded for future generations and I, Ms. Mysterioso, had the honour (and for some reason, the time!) to record the events as they unfolded.
What you are about to read transpired over a 24 hour span, when the emails were flying like that diarrhea-covered sheet in "Trainspotting". There was laughter, confusion, hurt feelings, and in the midst of all this .... "Our 5 Cents" was born.
(Emails may have been edited as Ms. M sees fit (hah!) and commentary may or may not be the opinion of all those involved.)
One of the Girls started us off with her stroke of brilliance....One of the girls:
hi girls... some of you are aware of my recent fascination with the blog. i was clicking everywhere, i tell ya. from one blog to the next, seeing what i would land upon. when i loved a blog i would check out all the links in said blogger's blog which led me to more blogs. ok, point one made: i am blogcessed. my purpose: to involve you loved ones in an activity (a blogtivity if you will). i shiver to imagine the amusement that will come of it! oh the possibilities! GIRLS- i propose the round robin of the twenty-first century. (perhaps the "round bloggin") of course you all know that this could not have been an original idea of mine (i am not the idea girl, i am the pull it together and follow through on the plan girl -thus would not make it on the apprentice, but that is a story for another day.) i know some girls who can pull off such a thing. i miss our letters, i miss our fun, i miss our attitude... all especially wonderful when we get together. we are far apart now, but the blog can unite. WHO AMONG YOU WISHES TO UNITE? Picture it... a blog... made by us, for us. (and whomever else wishes to peruse). i think it will be a hoot. It may give all of us that little boost of creativity and zaniness that we have found missing of late. enough blathering. just respond. i am off to see if im pregnant.Ms. M:
Maybe we should call it "Round Robin Grows Up"
Or "Snap, Crackle, and Pop"
Or "Rants, Ravings, and All-Around Craziness From Da Girls"Tali
(mind in the gutter):"The Fucktastic Four"Ms M
(the appropriate one):
does that really give the right impression? maybe the "Funktastic Fluckers"
not that it makes any sense, but what can i say? i'm getting a bit delerious here at work.One of the girls
(favouring the "clean version" though she's the dirtiest of all):
maybe "Funktastic Four"
(finally makes an appearance):
OH MY GOD. You will not believe this. I was out with the kids from high school tonight and we were all catching up and in my head I was like, "we should to a
group BLOG because a)it would be a good way to keep up on what everyone is doing and b) I would secretly like to blog myself but can not get up the nerve to do my
own" I did not let this idea leave my head - maybe for fear of ridicule or maybe becuase the tempura lobster rolls showed up and I got distracted. Then low and
behold i got home and checked my email. I think it's a great idea. Count me in! I didn't even read the whole email I was so excited but the prospects. Okay stand by -I'm going to read what i'm getting myself into! Ms. M
(back to Biz-nits):
or the "Four Flubbering Fools"
(thinks she’s clever):
How about the "Jivetastic Five"
since there are FIVE of us people !!! I am the only one who can count? how about "Four Retards and a Beauty"
? Hahahhahah!!! ok ok seriously, how about the "Powered Toast Women"
? No? Ok, how about "Can't Touch This"
- or... "Verbal Diarreah"
Then she got bitchy at Ms. M, for no reason at all:
Ms. M, yer right, you are no longer funny and therefore should be kicked out of "Four Retards and a Beauty", "3 Retards"
sounds better anyway...Ms M
i believe the correct spelling is "Diarrhoeah" in medical terminology. maybe we should discuss the name of the blog on the blog. this thought process is kinda funny! And Hick Teeth, thanks for thinking of me with the "beauty" thing. that's great, but unfair to the rest of you. how about "The Five Alive in a Dive with a Chive"
We should call it "What's In A Name"
in the meantime!!!!!Ms M:
In the meantime we should call it: "A Lame Name"One of the girls
i know but we have to REGISTER it as something, and shouldn't that be the name? or am i one of the 4 retards?Ms. M
(the voice of reason, as per usual):
register under "Spectacular Name Under Discussion"
or something like that. am i a retard too? i think i'm coming up with some pretty brilliant ideas, personally
one of the girls
(finally some logic!):
1. Ms. M, you are brilliant AND hilarious
2. i am anal, i cant help it
3. maybe this is why i cant get my own blog started, i cant get over the name thing
4. is someone gonna make an executive decision re: the name?Ms. M:
(keepin' it simple)"The Brilliant, Hilarious, Anal, and Retarded Beauties"
changes the jist:
How about "FiveAlive"
? Ms. M
ugh! whatever! I don't want to fight!! It's just that..... sniff... I offer you my creative brilliance and some of the best ideas i've ever had and I get... nothing. No respect. Or recognition.
One of the girls
what about "Highfive"
? what about "A Few of my Favorite Things"
(as in you guys are a few of my favorite things)Ms. M
(trying to keep her friends):
hey i was kidding before... i like "Fivealive" (especially the fruit drink). i'm cool with whatever. hey maybe that's what we should call it: "Coowitwhateva"Miss Kay
(to the rescue):
sheesh - 312 emails later, all out of sequence and I will put my two cents in (Hey that could be a name - "My Two Cents"
or "Our 5 Cents"
okay that was a tangent. back to what I was really going to say - not so into the "Fivealive" or "Highfive". I liked "Super Spectacular Name"
(don't know who suggested that! And there was another one recently that came up something like "Imcoowitwhatever"
yup, that one amused me.
ha ha ha did i complicate or what?! oh yah, now re-reading my ideas are boring. Don't listen to me!Ms. M
(finally recognized for her brilliance):
woohoo!! At least SOMEONE likes my names!!!
PS- i also like "Our 5 Cents" (she said that just to be nice)Hick Teeth
(taking the Lord's name in vain):
Jezuz H Christ. Way to fill my inbox up with 235,324,764 emails and not leave room for anything else! how about "We The Undecided"
?One of the girls
(making sense of our stupidity and taking action, as she always does, but usually with The C):
To aliviate any shit becoming holy, I have created our blog. It is http://www.ourfivecents.blogspot.com
Yay for us finally making a decision. Well, thanks to you, One of the girls. Let us not speak of changing the name again.
Now.... let the ridiculousness begin!!
on plumber crack
having just returned form doing my parents the "favour" of keeping the plumber company at their house for the last 3 hours, i find it apt to comment on plumber crack.
or lack there of in said case. "my plumber" had nary a crack a showin', for his pants were secured tightly around his nipples.
i leave you to contemplate the image.
Can't Undo what's done
Just like a much-regretted drunken night of dancing in bare feet in a sticky, puke-stained floor, making out with some guy, who is missing a tooth, the back of the bar and waking up with crust of some kind in your hair, blogs can not and should not be re-done.
Such is the nature of both life and the blog - which is really a short form of barf log in case you didn't know.
I have no idea why Tali thinks I don't check my email BTW.
I also think Tali might be on some highly-potent form of Crystal Meth and need intervention of some kind and since Ms Mysterioso is the only one in her vicinity, I nominate her to take care of the matter.
All in favour?
Blog Unblog Blogbarf Blogpurge Whateva
"Our 5 Cents???" Whatkinddofa stupid name is that? Just kidding. Yeah C girl just Blog On, Blog Off a la Karate Kid. Blog red blog green blog through blog between. I don't like green eggs and ham Sam I am . Wow it's 9 PM and I haven't had dinner.
Tonight I go on my first Double Date, tee hee.... feeling giddy and silly. Oh well, it's rare for a guy to make a good impression on me too so what the hell.
Hey waitassecond... debasing and belittling men is what i do on my OTHER blog. This one is about Da Laydeez. So Laydeez, what crazy things are we going to write about?
Blog: Noun, Verb or Adjective.... Maybe all 3!
Now, i'm very new to Blogging - is this just a form of conversation so as not to clog our email boxes or do we need to talk about important and interesting Blog-opics? I've never read any other blogs besides Tali's oh (and speaking of... how come ours doesn't look as pretty as Tali's?) Is there a weekly theme to Blog about? Or are they just random thoughts? Once you post a Blog can you change your mind and unblog a blog. LIke let say I blog drunk one night and then come to realize in the morning what i've done - can I go on and delete my Blogbarf?! .
So many questions for a Virgin Blogger like myself.
I also want to say that the name is fabulous and whoever came up with that one must be BRILLIANT.
(although brilliant as I oops I mean SHE! is- she can't spell. Is there a way to spell check a blog?!)
My first blog on "our 5 cents". I feel so special! I can't believe we finally settled on a name. Although I think it should be called "JenNeverReadsHerEmail.blogspot.com"