our 5 cents
Tuesday, June 27, 2006
  Heavy Metal Singles Party
So the Girls and I are at it again, and have invited well over 300 people to our next singles party on the roof. You know about my blog freak-attacks, so occasionally I google key words to see if my blog comes up. I'm glad I did, because I stumbled upon my party invite posted on a chat group.


These long-haired, tattooed, "I can swallow more knives than you" lads were discussing whether or not to support their single pal and attend the event.

I post for you: their comments. I wonder if I will meet these headbangers?

Papa Smurf
Metal Guru
Posted: Mon Jun 19, 2006 4:36 pm Post subject: Singles event.....Should I go?

Last year I read In the paper about a bunch of women in Toronto who got toghter and threw a singles party, these women call themselves Girls On The Roof. I get notices of their events and they have one coming up on Thurs, June 29. That's the beginning of my vacation and was thinking it would be fun. Only problem is I am quite shy and quiet, and not very socially outgoing on my own. I'm much more comfortable In groups i know. I defiantly want to just trying to convince myself to go.

If anyone out there is single in TO and looking to meet somebody here is the info.

No I'm not trying to Spam the board, just passing along some info to help out my fellow single metal heads.

(he posts the invitation)

Sounds like PUR Supper Club is hosting a sausage party...and charging a cover fee for it.

I know that a free pole dancing lesson is always a big draw for the ladies.


that club is one of those uber-pretentious "look at my gucci bag" places.

unless you plan to bag some plastic wanna be Mariah Carey chicks, i'd stay away

Papa Smurf
Metal Guru

Now I'm thinking perhaps this is not such a great idea

New Machine
Metal Guru

I don't know about you, but personally, I find Mariah Carey attractive, so that wouldn't be a problem for me.

Depends on what you want bro - treat it like a night out in any case, whether you're looking for an actual relationship or a one-night stand.

Personally though, an event that's geared toward eventually making dates, if you're not going to make moves and ask a chick out at least, there's no point in going if you're only going to stand in a corner.

Metal Guru

What have you got to lose? At the very least it will be a new experience for you and at the very best you might meet someone. As a bonus it will give you something to post of the braveboard afterwards. At $5 where the hell can you go for a night out that cheaply?

- - - - - - -


Metal Guru

You are negative!


Metal Guru

Whatever dude!

You and all the poor me I'm single guys need to hit this event.
Just dont wear a band shirt, and make sure you shave.

Hey newmachine! we have got to go to this! it'd be a great laugh! and we'd be providing moral support for the smurf while picking off the hotties LOL.

New Machine
Metal Guru

I would definitely consider going as moral support for Dave, and certainly to have some fun, but to be honest I would prefer a non-singles event.

If I meet someone or want to go out with someone, I usually don't like it pre-planned. I don't know, singles events kind of take the excitement of the surprise of meeting someone away.
- - - - - - -
It's not for me to say, nor is it for me to care.

Metal Guru

Well I've never been to one of these things, lets go for Dave, and of course for our own entertainment aswell. Fuck if it sucks that bad we can all head to somewhere else.

New Machine
Metal Guru

I don't see anything wrong with going, and thankfully it ends at 11 PM, because I have to work that night, so if Dave is up for it, I'll go

Papa Smurf
Metal Guru

I was pertty much gonna pass, BUT, if you and others wanna join in and go....I'm game.

Metal Guru

You should all just go for the hell of it.

- - - - - - -
It always burns within
The downward spiral never ends
When driven into sin
Your salvation's found in a sinner's deed

Metal Guru

It sucks when I was single there wasnt any well organized singles events. If I wanted to pick up women I'd have to hit the clubs so I could not pickup anyone because I would hate that infernal racket thats being played in them.

Now there is speed dating, dating cruises, kickball leagues, and all other kinds of cool singles events.

I think I could do well with speed dating, it just seems like it would be fun.

Metal Guru

Go for it
Sunday, June 25, 2006
  Internet is EVIL
Especially when you can't get to it! Our home internet has been down for a whole week now. I didn't realize how much time I fritter away in cyberspace until this week. Not to mention, how much I rely on it. I didn't instantly have everybit of information I could ever want at my figertips and it really drove me nuts.

I did a lot of things this week that I probably would not have if given the opportunity to sit around on my couch and blog all day. I reorganized my bookshelves, learned a new computer design program, I went for bike rides, rollerbladed on the beach and even started my acting career! (Don't ask --- it was an activity that I didn't need to get online for)

After 4 service calls from 4 seperate cable guys, the internet seems to be back on. (Although it did go down for a few hours this afternoon PANIC!!!) . So here I sit catching up on my Blogging, haven't done anything most would consider productive since it's been back on but I now know where to buy the lawn furniture I've had my eye on, what Ms. M is wearing these days and am about to see if I can find a recipe for Pasta Salad using the minimal ingredients I have in my fridge.

Ahhh, what do they say about knowledge?
Hold on a sec, let me look it up.
Friday, June 23, 2006
  Blog Ban : The Bain of my Being
Beautiful Babies, Blogging Buddies... Bitches,

A brilliantly bad brainchild of my business has been born!
A breech of my being!

I am banished...A Blog Ban has burdened the building.

I am bugged... and bewildered. How will I bring bliss into my backbreaking and boring workplace?

This bad news has bummed me out and bestowed upon me "the blues".

I shall begrudgingly attempt to bite the bullet and brighten my burdens with a bubble bath... b-adieu.

(I am now bound to blog from my own bedroom - bah!)
Tuesday, June 20, 2006
hey all!
for fear of letting you think that i actually might someday return to this blog in full force, i will make this post short. i don't want to tempt you too too much with my genius writing lest you find yourselves aching for more.
so the title for the day is period. no, it does not refer to me (the one who cannot mentruate on her own), but rather to the lexicon surronding the act. i admit, dear friends, that i did find the idea for this "somewhere else", but thought is funny enough to share with you fine feathered ladies.
without further ado, if you were ever in seach of what to call your period, please check here.
Monday, June 19, 2006
  On Not Being Funny Anymore
I am in such a fuckin' mood its unreal. If you don't believe me, go see the "what to wear" blog and check out my ranty-comment.

I feel un-appealing, un-motivated and most definitely un-funny.

On commenting about this non-funnyness last night (in joke form at dinner at my aunt's) Cuddles decided to take this up with me in bed as we were falling asleep.

"why don't you think you are as funny as before?"
"I dunno - maybe I'm too busy to be funny"
"but that's what made me so crazy about you - the way you made me laugh" (notice the past tense - I did)

Is this supposed to fucking HELP the situation? Man I wanted to wring his neck. Instead I told him that he better just dump me now, as it is all down hill from here.

Sorry, this post is not funny. It just isn't.
  Duo- PinOSTi
Get it Hickteeth? Duo PinOSTi? Like duo pinotti, but for posts? Nah? Ok, Anyway.... this is my second post in a row, yo.


Guy 1: Where are we getting off? Bathurst?
Guy 2: ...Butt-thurst.
Guy 1: Or Spajina?
Guy 2: Spajina... it kind of sounds like Spaghetti and Vagina. It's a new Italian delicacy.
  this 31 thing may not be working out for me...
I know I am the youngest of the bunch, and therefore, my mind should be the sharpest (if not my actions wisest) ... but this morning, thank the holy goodness I was wearing dark brown pants, cause I spilled my coffee on them twice while on the streetcar. Twice! Is this a sign I should:

a) drink my coffee at my desk like a normal person, instead of drinking it while in motion, dangling bags, and umbrellas, lifevests and oars from my hands
b) always wear dark brown pants
c) just call it quits already and retire, so I don't have to endure wet or stained clothing at work anymore and the shame that ensues

Well, the good news is that I was on my best behaviour on my birthday outing at Supermarket (in Kensington Market-- I think it's new since y'all lived here...). A big group of people came out and made me feel loved and there are stories to tell! Though... none of them mine!! For once!! Actually, I did drink quite a bit of sweeeeet muthafuckin sangria, so maybe there are some stories I just don't remember?!

3 cheers for 31 year old blogging and to a year just slightly more entertaining than the last (don't think I can handle much more...)!
Monday, June 05, 2006
  WWA* a well as a continuation of overhead at the Hick-Cuddles Household
*Working with acronyms

Cuddles has been sick for nearly a week now, IYCBI*
I feel sorry for him, so I cleaned, made him tea, went grocery shopping, basically, IWAS**.
I bought him all kinds of good, healthy foods as he sat and watched The Fight Network, or as I like to call it MWNNC***.
He’s also quitting smoking at the same time, so while he sick, he’s also screaming FU at the TV and SU at me. Though this sounds funny on OFC, IRLº, it is not, IYKWIM.

I bought him this great soy/granola mix thing for a snack, to tide him over during the CFH†, which he liked, TTL^. This mix is meant to be MIXED (not an acronym) with other things, such as raisins, as it is a delicious, yet high-fat treat for GBWDS®

This morning, despite the 3,004 other cereal options available to him, he chose to use a base of flakes (NFHH!¥) atop which he placed a hefty helping of, yes, the SNACK ITEM (not an acronym).

“That’s Not Cereal!” I yelled
“I can’t tell what is and what isn’t!” He yelled back.
“Cereal comes in cereal boxes!” screamed I
“I like granola-y things!” hollered Cuddles
“Well then eat the GRANOLA (not an acronym)!” wow, we tell a lot
“I didn’t see any!” He projected
“It’s in the box with a picture of GRANOLA (not an acronym) on the box!”
"oh, well I didn't see it".


*If You Can Believe It
**I Was A Slave
***Men With No Necks Channel
º In Real Life (remember this one, I may use it again one day)
† Cravings From Hell
^ Thank The Lord
® Good Boys Who Don’t Smoke
¥ Not From His Head
**** Someone Please Help Me, I Beg of You
  hey ms. ms.
wherefore ist thy blog?

Previously on Our 5 Cents
I'm a maniac... maniac... with the posts....
You'll wonder how you ever lived without these...
Your Crotch???
Here I go again...
Ladies..I done tagged y'all! :)
All Hail The King of Subtlety
Same Same, but Different
The Ongoing Search for a TOE*

October 2005 / November 2005 / December 2005 / January 2006 / February 2006 / March 2006 / April 2006 / May 2006 / June 2006 / July 2006 / August 2006 / September 2006 / October 2006 / November 2006 / December 2006 / January 2007 / February 2007 / March 2007 / April 2007 / May 2007 / June 2007 / August 2007 / October 2007 / January 2008 / October 2008 / November 2008 /

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