our 5 cents
Sunday, November 26, 2006
  To post the video here?

The preview of the Vegas video is online. I'm not in this portion of it. (apparently I was behind the camera much more than in front) Would you like me to post it on the BLOG for the world to see (Although, I don't think the world is necessarily reading this BLOG... but you never know - it will compromise our annonymity) Or should I just send you the links to view it individually. Let me know. It's darn funny.
Tuesday, November 21, 2006
If only I had seen this BEFORE we went to Vegas!

Just think of the possiblities we would have had with routines on the moving walkways!
Monday, November 20, 2006
  Guaranteed the most disgusting Blog Post you will ever read
Yes, even more disgusting than my last one. And a little warning: Do not click the link if you are eating lunch, have just eaten anything or plan on eating anything in the near future.

Saturday night after a long hard day at work, we innocently went through the drive thru window at In and Out Burger, a favorite west coast fast food chain. Got the usual order, "2 double doubles animal style with vanilla milk shakes". Went home and gobbled up the burgers then moved on to the fries.

What is wrong with this picture:

If you are unsure of the problem click on the picture to view!
  The Majority Wins
Somebody's - and I'm not telling whose - significant other on this here blog sent me some pretty hilarious pictures of himself doing some pretty hilarious things.

The person whose sig.other it is is probably aware of the situation, but I leave it up to you all :

Do I post the whole exchange on the site - or is that perhaps a little "too much"?

Let's be democratic about this : who votes yes?
Thursday, November 16, 2006
  Oh crap it's Thursday and I'm supposed to post something
Who's lame idea was that? Oh yah ---- mine.

Well, I take it all back. I will no longer be responsible for thursday's postings.

I don't like Thursdays. I feel more creative on Wednesdays. I would have chosed Wednesday but there were already three posts yesterday and I wanted to keep our momentum going by choosing Thursday. But alas, now it's Thursday and I have nothing to say. No poop stories to speak of, no sex to talk about (ooh let me clarify that. not that there is no sex --- it's that i'm not going to talk about it!)

Although.... that does remind me of a question I was going to ask and I think this blog may be the perfect forum. Have you ever orgasmed while laying a log (and no that is not a sexual term....) Have you ever had the most fantastic poop of your life that as it came out it pushed in the perfect spot and in the moment of release of tension and fical matter you were brought to a climactical ecstasy?!

.... Just asking.

PS - I am recalling my posting day and choosing Wednesday. Stamped it, double lock, no erasies!
Wednesday, November 15, 2006
  My Pleasure Chest
So what you really want to know about is what sex toys I've got stashed for Spoke, to give to him on vacation. You wanna know, I wanna provide.

What I am giving to Spoke is as follows (don't tell him, it's a surprize!!):

1) Massage cards: each one has a massage technique for various body parts. I assume there's no rub and tug action in the deck, it seems pretty tame. These were originally a gift for Mr. Rich & Powerful 2 years ago. He opened it, we never used it, then he dumped me, so I kept the deck of cards when I gave back some other stuff. Is it wrong to give it to Spoke? Mr. R&P and I never "enjoyed" the cards.

2) A good, expensive lubricant. Yes, vacation is time to bring anal sex into the relationship. I know Spoke can't wait for it... and I've made him wait a long time. Wish my butt luck!

3) A flavoured gel for oral sex. I thought it might be fun to taste like vanilla for a change.

4) The main course: A bullet vibrator that sits in a stretchy, textured cock ring, for his and her stimulation. This thing is POWERFUL! I can't wait. I wonder what the cock ring part will do for Spoke, though? I hope he's not scared of it when he sees it... It excited me, so I'm sure he's up for it!

Any thoughts of what else to bring??? (Clarification: For sex. I know about SPF 30, and sunglasses, first aid kit and all that!)
Tuesday, November 14, 2006
  So you wanna know what's up with me, eh?
Alright Ms. Ms. I get your message. I don't post enough. Point taken. And here I am. I warn you, though, that this may not be the interesting and entertaining post you are looking for to spice up your day. But you asked for it, so now we will all have to grin and bear it. (I see y'all forcing your smiles. I SEE YOU. Stop it, you are making me feel stupid. Which I am, so I guess there isn't much wrong with that.)

So let's see... what's fun and new and exciting in the world of One of the Girls? Hmmm...

This weekend I had a trade show. I feel like I am prostituting my work to people when I do trade shows. It makes me so cranky. Hickteeth came to help out/keep me from committing suicide on Sunday morning. She was a doll for doing so (WHERE WERE THE REST OF YOU?), and she can attest to the foulness of my mood. Ugh, two days in a gross, stiff convention hall with no fesh air or natural light.

Adding to the foul mood was the fight I got into with a cab driver who was taking me to said pain in the ass show early Sunday morning. I really don't know what the fuck was with him. He was about to take me like 8 blocks out of the way. Me: "WHY ARE YOU TURNING HERE? STOP THE METER NOW!" And so he did. A little agression goes a long way.

A highlight of the show was the arrival of Hickteeth's sister, and her teeny nephew, who we shall name Noteeth. Man he is like the cutest baby on the face of this earth. So freaking delicious. I can totally eat him up. I'll take 2 Noteeths, a side of fries and a Diet Coke, to go.

What else is new... Oh yes! You remeber the medication I was taking when we were sojourning in Vegas? I was taking 2 pills a day at that time, up from one pill a day the week before. Apparently the medical professionals advise increasin the dosage bit by bit, week by week. To avois, you know, the side effects. I remember stressing one particular side effect that was plaguing me: the runs from the anus. When that resolved itself I increased to three pills a day. The wonderous side effects have returned. Along with some gas, and much loud noise-making from my belly. Hopefully all will subside soon. God help me if the doctor increases the dosage to 4 or even 5 pills a day (as I just read about someone taking. Holy shit! Pun totally intended.)

Not much going on on the sex front. I don't think The C and I have done it in over a week. I think that is a record in the past few months. 2006 has really been a year of fucking in our household. We have been having a blast in the bedroom. And living room, and kitchen, and basement, and who wants to come over now and sit on our furniture and eat at our kitchen table? We bought a trusty new sex toy and have been enjoying the plesures it is unlocking in both of us. Ladies, it is not true that sex dies after marriage. We have been experiencing one HOT year. My advice: keep it spicy, play with grown-up toys!

The past two weeks have been riddled with illness for me. First it was a runny nose, sneeze attacking, chill riddled ball of wax. This was followed by the emergence of the recurring cyst on my cocyx that hurts like a motherfucker. Both have cleared up wonderfully, thanks to my homeopath. She is a wonderful lady that cures all that ails me (in record time), without making me pop antibiotics. Extraordinary indeed.

This my friends brings to a close the update that was requested of me. Funny, perhaps not. Informative, for certain. Keep your updates a-comin'. I love tales of Ms. Ms's boyfirends ball trimming, and cryptic discussions on marriage. I miss you all with a terrible heavy heart. I am so glad that I have to in my life.

Hey Shennanigans- where's our video?
  You've Gotta Give Me Something
I know I am just as guilty of lack of blog in recent weeks (but gimme a break--- I've got 2 other blogs with regular postings!). If you guys are looking for personal info, check into my hair trimming saga with Spoke. GREAT RESULTS!! Gotta love that man. Today he emailed me to say he's feeling shy about using the urinals. What will his fellow pee-ers think?

But anyway, that is not the purpose of this here post. I am stressed, sad, fed up, angry, unsatisfied and need more hours in the day for work AND fun. I am not loving my work situation and, in fact, have applied for a new job (wish me luck!). The situation here of colleague-from-hell are about to heighten in a way I am most anxious to even acknowledge. I just take it day by day and hope for the best... Too much to get into here, but there is a chance it is out of my hands, which is the most I could hope for...

All this said-- I need entertainment. I need to laugh in the way to which I have become accustomed. I need some websites-o-hilarity, or to hear about OOTG and the C's sex life, or to hear about an article of clothing Hickteeth forgot to put on in the morning or a story about some crazy muthafucka Shenanigan met in LA. SOMETHING!

Seeing our pal T-Rock in the T Dot was great-- I needed a good ol smiling friend and I love seeing her happy.

Spoke is THE BEST. He has been so supportive. I must say, he can be damn funny at times too, especially when he shaves his balls.

Next week I am going on vacation... but before then--- GIVE ME SOMETHING!

I lurve you all!
  Here I go again
Have you all given up on this little blog?

Are you too busy, stressed out and overworked?

Well, here's something to raise your spirits and lower your anxiety...

It's recommended by a doctor, and it's obviously considered some kind of medicine, so it must work and it must be healthy.

Wednesday, November 01, 2006
  The Big M
Well, 2 of us have already engaged (no pun intented) in the Big M and 3 of us have not.

For one of you it was a bigger deal, for the other perhaps less of a deal.

Now it seems that the Big M has become a bit of a theme in 2 of our lives (maybe 3?). Not in the sense of it happening, but maybe just thinking about it.

Will it happen? When? What kind of W do I want? Will there be an E? Or an R with the E? Do I care?

Notice how I can't even type out the full word? (*props to Ms M for the use of the Capital Letter to represent the Word) There is a certain amount of superstition and worry that goes along with the whole thing.

Maybe I shouldn't talk about it. When it's decided, will it actually happen? Am I jinxing myself?

Q! Q! It's all a bunch of Q!

Maybe, being sick (I have a C!) I should get some R&R and think this through...

Previously on Our 5 Cents
I'm a maniac... maniac... with the posts....
You'll wonder how you ever lived without these...
Your Crotch???
Here I go again...
Ladies..I done tagged y'all! :)
All Hail The King of Subtlety
Same Same, but Different
The Ongoing Search for a TOE*

October 2005 / November 2005 / December 2005 / January 2006 / February 2006 / March 2006 / April 2006 / May 2006 / June 2006 / July 2006 / August 2006 / September 2006 / October 2006 / November 2006 / December 2006 / January 2007 / February 2007 / March 2007 / April 2007 / May 2007 / June 2007 / August 2007 / October 2007 / January 2008 / October 2008 / November 2008 /

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