our 5 cents
Monday, July 31, 2006
  Someone I met who asked me to post this...


My name is Jerry, and as you can see, I am a recent College Grad. I received my Diploma in Applied Socio-Economic Statistics from www.customdegrees.com in just 30 days. Yes, I finished College in just one month. As you can tell, I am of a higher-intelligence bracket than most.
I have found your site quite sparkly and thought I’d introduce myself. I am on the market for a lady-friend and in hopes that any one of you lovely women might have an interest, I post my picture for your pleasures.
Please feel free to write me back, to jerry.bladderfull@jean-guy-stache.ca


N.B., I am not attached to the facial hair (though my neighbour and mother say it looks distinguished), and would shave off my moustache if any of you would like.
Wednesday, July 26, 2006
  luck be a lady tonight
or today. whichever.
holy shit people! i have a major announcement to make!
i was on the land of monks today to pick up some spelt bread from our friendly neighbourhood baker. and the bucks... it was calling to me! the louisiana corn muf-cake... it was purring and wispering my name. "one of the girls... come eat me..." in a spooky voice. in cartoon fashion my feet lifted from the ground and led by my nose, i floated towards the door of this famous coffee establishment. after i ordered said massive chunk of delicious oily magnificence, i inquired after some coffee. you see my fine haired friends, i have not been frequenting the bucks since my pledge to not ingest caffine. today i was interested in the non-caf versions of their dark brown specialities. alas, here is my most wonderful news:
starbucks makes a decaf frappicino. DECAF. hello!
there is obviously a god up there, and said god has heard my prayers.
angels sing on high.
Tuesday, July 18, 2006
  I hope I'm not dooced
Dooce : To lose one's job due to blogging - the word is created by another blogger who is now WORKING as a blogger (as she lost her job)

A.K.A. More From Cuddles and Hick (a short one)

Cuddles : Snnnnoooorrrrre....snn...snnooorreeeeeee...
HIck : Cuddles... Cuddles! (poke.. prod..push)
Cuddles : snnnnnnnnooooooooreeeeee....snnnnnn*
Hick : (PUSH)
Cuddles : ugn?
Hick : You're snoring again.
Cuddles : Maybe I snore so much because I love you.
Hick : Wow. well thanks for loving me so loudly, every single night.
Cuddles : unnng.

Do you think he was coherent and understanding what he was saying? I'm not so sure, and was annoyed at the time, but upon waking up and thinking about it... I had a giggling fit, realising how weird it was.
What was he thinking?!?
Friday, July 14, 2006
  Just Hangin' Out... (for the world to see)
This week I am doing another stint on the geriatric unit because we are understaffed. I had a very nice consult with a smart elderly gent, very pleasant to talk to. He was also very tall- 6 foot 5, but of course was lying in bed so it was hard to tell... I just trust what he told me (he actually said 5'17" to which I responded: "Really? You are 6'5"??" and he was very impressed that I am the first person EVER to figure that out).

Anyway, I was chatting with this man, who was sprawled out on his hospital bed, wearing just a blue hospital gown. Now, you can imagine that a man of this grand height would not get much coverage out of the gown, designed to cover elderly frames, which are normally under 5'5" or so. And, normally no clothes are worn beneath the hospital gown. Yeah.

I kept my eyes on his face but in my peripheral but was fully aware there was a penis in the room. It taunted me. "Do not look at old man's penis. Do not look at old man's penis". He did not make an attempt to cover it up. There it was, pale and flaccid, uncircumsized (I think) and not tiny. Balls n' all. Now, don't start freaking out, I didn't get a good hard look, just a few "peripheral glances".

Then he said: "I had an accident. The urinal spilled and now I have to call the nurse to change the sheets." I guess he was just airing himself out.
Saturday, July 08, 2006
  Hypothetical Moral Question
So you are driving down the street listening to the radio, going home after a long day at the office. Let's place this scenario at appox 7:00pm. A two lane residential street busy enough to warrant traffic lights. A large black SUV speeds past you in the right lane, he cuts it close, a little too close for comfort, an inch more and your mirrors would have kissed. Just as you are shaking your head, "smash, crack" you see a mirror go flying. Thankfully not your own but you realize the black SUV has knocked the mirror off an poor, innocent, unsuspecting Legally PARKED car. Here is where the Hypothetical Moral Question comes in.

What do you do?

Additional info to consider:
You are driving in the left lane and can't just stop the car
The License plate number of the SUV is CIK1SZ
Thursday, July 06, 2006
  Postin' on Hickteeth's behalf
Because she can't blog at work.
Here goes:

“Overheard” with Cuddles and Hick
Part Trois

“That woman’s chest fills up the breast section AND the stomach section of her shirt! Wow!” “Yeah, she’s killed 2 birds with one boob”

“That beet salad you gave me for lunch gave me gas” “But I put more of it in your lunch today…” “Oh no!” “Well, this way you can “test” and “see” if it was really the beets, maybe it wasn’t” “Hmm, well, ya, ok.” (Am I going to Hell?)

BARF (not Hick, or Cuddles, but Buster the dog, puking on our floor yesterday morning)

Previously on Our 5 Cents
I'm a maniac... maniac... with the posts....
You'll wonder how you ever lived without these...
Your Crotch???
Here I go again...
Ladies..I done tagged y'all! :)
All Hail The King of Subtlety
Same Same, but Different
The Ongoing Search for a TOE*

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