Horny Old Patient This week there are 3 RDs covering for 6 full time jobs. That means, oh joy, that I get to visit the adult units and struggle to figure out what the heck to do with them.

Today I met a chatty man... and I learned a lot about him: he's Egyptian, studied in Germany, speaks at least 5 languages, moved his birthdate back about 4 years when he immigrated for insurance purposes, is an atheist, and believes in the big bang and Darwin's theory of evolution. He is single, lives alone, and is not coping well. Diet-wise, he has no willpower, he says. He's about 62 years old (or 58 on hospital papers).

He is diabetic and confessed that he "overdid" it by drinking 3 very large Tim Horton's "Smoothees". He blames his stroke on that, and an entire box of baklava. Now I don't know too much about Smoothees but have always assumed they were made with sugar and cream and even I would never dare drinking one. "Sir, those are just too sweet for you. I wouldn't even suggest drinking one".

I asked him about changes in his body weight (he is clearly outside of the healthy range) and he said, "This is my normal body type. You have your body type, I have my type. I'll never be skinny like the Asian Nurses. Here- feel my arm. It's all muscle".

As I was leaving the room, after I had said he might need some help at home with meal preparation,he said: "You know what I need? A wife. I 'm going to Russia to get a girl to bring back and be my wife." Me: "Well Mr. A, that's another story altogether".

Later I was back in the room and he proceeded to tell me that his young male nurse is single, and maybe I should meet him. He's 22. "I'm a little older than 22, Mr. A!" "What? You look 18-19!" "Well , that's a bit of an exaggeration, but thank you very much!". I think he's already told this nurse that I'm attractive.

Then he told me he was trying to "hustle me personally", to go out with me. I think he told the nurse about this intention too. Then he told me he had many 18-19 year old girlfriends in South America and named all the cities for me where he "knew" girls. I don't want to know what the heck this old perv is up to.  Ms. M ¶ 1:58 PM