Wednesday, April 19, 2006
Are those Brownies?
a.k.a. It's just not Passover until you feel like you're going to barf.
Why, when we normally do not eat even one pan of sweet potato, do we eat TWO pans at passover?
Why, when we normally do not dip our fingers into the brownie pan once, do we dip many times on this night?
Why, when we do not normally lean to the left, are we forced to lean (due to over consumption) on this night?
Because.. it's passover. That's why.
For all of those who do not remember what it means to have a passover meal at the OOTGs. Let me refresh :
1. You sit, and though already hungry (or is that just me?) you read through - or blast through sometimes - the Haggadah. No pauses here, food is waiting! And we are thinking about it.. I mean .. we take the time to think about the suffering of our ancestors... and matzoh balls.
2. Marror!
FULLNESS LEVEL : 1
3. Salad with hard boiled eggs, gefilte fish, more marror... basically a full meal as Appetizer #1 - yes only #1.
FULLNESS LEVEL 5
4. Matzoh ball soup amidst many compliments to the gramma-chef. Nothing funny to add here. Matzoh balls just don't lend themselves to good humour. Sorry.
FULLNESS LEVEL : 7 (uh oh)
5. The meal : need I go into details about this? Imagine all the food on the planet, then divide it in two. We got one half, the rest of the population got the other.
FULLNESS LEVEL : 13.5
6. Desert. HOLY MOTHER OF GOD. I think I am going to barf all over myself already (but it would probably taste good coming up - sweet potato heaven). Then come out the 2 cakes, 3 cookie varietals and of course... the straw that broke Hickteeth's button : the brownines.
FULLNESS LEVEL : Can't-Swallow-as-Food-is-Backing-up-Esophagus-Into-Mouth.
I am proud to say that after one piece of cake, 3 cookies,one taste of other cake forced upon me by OOTG and one short food fight over gelatinous coating of cake-I-didn't-want (OOTG's mother yelled at us for laughing too loud) I only had 2 brownies. Maybe 3. And one macaroon on the way home in the car.
I tried not to over-do it this year. Hick Teeth ¶ 12:46 PM
Why, when we normally do not eat even one pan of sweet potato, do we eat TWO pans at passover?
Why, when we normally do not dip our fingers into the brownie pan once, do we dip many times on this night?
Why, when we do not normally lean to the left, are we forced to lean (due to over consumption) on this night?
Because.. it's passover. That's why.
For all of those who do not remember what it means to have a passover meal at the OOTGs. Let me refresh :
1. You sit, and though already hungry (or is that just me?) you read through - or blast through sometimes - the Haggadah. No pauses here, food is waiting! And we are thinking about it.. I mean .. we take the time to think about the suffering of our ancestors... and matzoh balls.
2. Marror!
FULLNESS LEVEL : 1
3. Salad with hard boiled eggs, gefilte fish, more marror... basically a full meal as Appetizer #1 - yes only #1.
FULLNESS LEVEL 5
4. Matzoh ball soup amidst many compliments to the gramma-chef. Nothing funny to add here. Matzoh balls just don't lend themselves to good humour. Sorry.
FULLNESS LEVEL : 7 (uh oh)
5. The meal : need I go into details about this? Imagine all the food on the planet, then divide it in two. We got one half, the rest of the population got the other.
FULLNESS LEVEL : 13.5
6. Desert. HOLY MOTHER OF GOD. I think I am going to barf all over myself already (but it would probably taste good coming up - sweet potato heaven). Then come out the 2 cakes, 3 cookie varietals and of course... the straw that broke Hickteeth's button : the brownines.
FULLNESS LEVEL : Can't-Swallow-as-Food-is-Backing-up-Esophagus-Into-Mouth.
I am proud to say that after one piece of cake, 3 cookies,one taste of other cake forced upon me by OOTG and one short food fight over gelatinous coating of cake-I-didn't-want (OOTG's mother yelled at us for laughing too loud) I only had 2 brownies. Maybe 3. And one macaroon on the way home in the car.
I tried not to over-do it this year. Hick Teeth ¶ 12:46 PM
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Hickteeth, I honestly don't know why you are not able to restrain your eating on Passover. It does sound like there is some force-feeding involved.... or at least pressure. But, are you not a woman of free will? Is Mrs. OOTG shoving the desserts down your throat? Are you trying to out-do the appetites of others?
Hickteeth, Hickteeth.... you do this every year. You KNOW those brownies will be the last item on the table. For G-d sakes, PACE YOURSELF woman! Reconsider that second helping of sweet potato so you can enjoy the barfy fullness of desserts, not maror!! Choose carefully!!!
Hickteeth, Hickteeth.... you do this every year. You KNOW those brownies will be the last item on the table. For G-d sakes, PACE YOURSELF woman! Reconsider that second helping of sweet potato so you can enjoy the barfy fullness of desserts, not maror!! Choose carefully!!!
Ms. Ms.
though your advice is appreciated, it must be said that I WAS pacing myself!
In years past I had reached the 9.5 fullness mark by the end of the soup.
There was no force-feeding involved per se, but the one item I chose not to take was commented on by OOTG's dad - who was sitting at the opposite end of the long table.
OOTG's dad "Hick, are you not eating any brocolli?!?"
How could he see that from across the long table full of people that I did not have that one item on my full plate?
Hick "I ate brocolli today already."
OOTG's dad "what? you can't have brocolli more than once a day?!?"
Hick "No, I can't." (what else could I have said?)
Next year I will try harder to further pace myself, if that is possible.
though your advice is appreciated, it must be said that I WAS pacing myself!
In years past I had reached the 9.5 fullness mark by the end of the soup.
There was no force-feeding involved per se, but the one item I chose not to take was commented on by OOTG's dad - who was sitting at the opposite end of the long table.
OOTG's dad "Hick, are you not eating any brocolli?!?"
How could he see that from across the long table full of people that I did not have that one item on my full plate?
Hick "I ate brocolli today already."
OOTG's dad "what? you can't have brocolli more than once a day?!?"
Hick "No, I can't." (what else could I have said?)
Next year I will try harder to further pace myself, if that is possible.
a few comments on said entry:
1. hickteeth? she was pacing herself. really she was. i thought the poor girl was going to barf after appetizer course 1. yikes. alas she didn't, thank the lord. that may be because she didn't eat the chooped liver and eggplant that also grace the table at this time.
2. my mother? man the woman makes alot of food. me? i help her.
3. there is food after the seder. i have seen hickteeth since, we have eaten. we are no longer full from said meal.
4. can you believe that my mother got mad at us for laughing? or mad at me in anycase. hickteeth, the overachieving eater, she can do no wrong. why is it that our mothers love hicky more than us? why? (and why on this night?)
1. hickteeth? she was pacing herself. really she was. i thought the poor girl was going to barf after appetizer course 1. yikes. alas she didn't, thank the lord. that may be because she didn't eat the chooped liver and eggplant that also grace the table at this time.
2. my mother? man the woman makes alot of food. me? i help her.
3. there is food after the seder. i have seen hickteeth since, we have eaten. we are no longer full from said meal.
4. can you believe that my mother got mad at us for laughing? or mad at me in anycase. hickteeth, the overachieving eater, she can do no wrong. why is it that our mothers love hicky more than us? why? (and why on this night?)
ahaha! I am still laughing about the one little last line from OOTG's comment "And why on this night?" LOL! you girls make me laff (and not only on this night)
As for why the moms love me...
Can I help it if I am every parent's wet dream? *
As for Appetizer #1...
I didn't know there was eggplant! DAMN!
Is there any left?
*(line partially stolen from movie The Breakfast Club)
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As for why the moms love me...
Can I help it if I am every parent's wet dream? *
As for Appetizer #1...
I didn't know there was eggplant! DAMN!
Is there any left?
*(line partially stolen from movie The Breakfast Club)
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