Your Crotch??? Really? Is that what we girls deserve after a year of absence and longing? Your crotch? Couldn't you do any better than that?

... Oh, I think 2 birds just flew into my window outside. 2 birds, dying at the sight of YOUR CROTCH.  Ms. M ¶ 9:57 PM 0 comments

  Here I go again... Should I do it?

Dare I take on this mountain of a challenge and update this decrepit, crochety old, crumbling blog?

As I type dust is blowing off the screen, stinging my eyes, but not dampening my spirit.

Is it possible to resurrect a page that has been OOC for over a YEAR my lady friends, over a year... Which rhymes with tear.... the weight of which weighs on my cheek like a bird shot out of the sky on a cold autumn night. Gone before its prime, it lies dead on the ground, surrounded by other dead bird blogs, beautiful and ripe with both potential and the stench of a thing in the fridge long forgotten.... But I digress...

Well ladies, don’t ask me why (because I’m bored) and don’t think I’m passing judgment (on all you lazy ass mofos), but here I am, updating the blog.

Only, I have nothing to update it with. Except that I am missing this part of my life, wherein I can write whatever I choose and publish it here, in a forum of friends.

OK, in order to save this post from being a total wash, I will include this shot of my crotch, taken during one dark night of heavy drinking (3 drinks is all I need to start acting like a douchebag) and karaoke* (I’m pretty sure I “rocked the mic like a vandal” in the words of Vanilla Ice). It's not even a "nice" shot of my legs, nor is it particularly "attractive", but I add it for your pleasure, but hopefully not other people's pleasure. So feel blessed y'all, feel blessed.

*Song list included: Bootylicious, Quit Playin’ Games With my Heart (yes, the BSB), and a sincere and heartfelt rendition of “Faith”.

So... before this river becomes an ocean ladies, before you throw my heart back on the floor... please. Post.

That's my 5 cents.

  Hick Teeth ¶ 3:22 PM 7 comments