Monday, September 18, 2006
The Perfect Snap
OR : Why I won't have kids.
For the past week I have tried, on several occaisions, mostly unsuccessfully to *snap* a towel. Call it boredom, call it trying to extend my resume of trivial talents... whatever you call it, I wasn't very good at it. I snapped the fridge at my parents' place well, but maybe because it was stainless steel and made a good "sound". The pantry I was not so lucky with.
So there we were, in the bathroom last night, brushing teeth, slapping asses... Cuddles and I were happily getting ready for bed. There was the usual fare of "I need to see in the mirror" and making faces with toothpaste foam.
I used my face towel and then decided to get a new one and put the one I had used in the laundry basket. I held it in my palm, and contemplated :
My face towel is a small square, about 8" x 8", hardly enough material to twirl by the corner and certainly not enough to *snap*, right? That's what I had deciced as started twirling the small weapon of mass destruction, just for fun, thinking it'd never work anyway. I snapped gingerly toward Cuddles' buttokial area and realised 2 things pretty quickly.
1 - it was enough material to *snap*
2 - my aim is dead off
Cuddles, mouth full of paste looked at me with what I can only describe as his "why-did-you-do-this-to-me-I-thought-you-loved-me-OMG-I'm-going-to-puke" look. I panicked and giggled (a nervous reacion of mine, very bad) and started gushing "I'm sorry! I'm sorry!" I really was sorry. But also a little amazed that I *snapped* successfully on the first try! But also sorry sorry sorry.
I left the bathroom, ashamed and as Cuddles carefully slid into bed, he exclaimed "I really thought I was going to puke there! You perfectly hit my right nut". Hick Teeth ¶ 9:31 AM
For the past week I have tried, on several occaisions, mostly unsuccessfully to *snap* a towel. Call it boredom, call it trying to extend my resume of trivial talents... whatever you call it, I wasn't very good at it. I snapped the fridge at my parents' place well, but maybe because it was stainless steel and made a good "sound". The pantry I was not so lucky with.
So there we were, in the bathroom last night, brushing teeth, slapping asses... Cuddles and I were happily getting ready for bed. There was the usual fare of "I need to see in the mirror" and making faces with toothpaste foam.
I used my face towel and then decided to get a new one and put the one I had used in the laundry basket. I held it in my palm, and contemplated :
My face towel is a small square, about 8" x 8", hardly enough material to twirl by the corner and certainly not enough to *snap*, right? That's what I had deciced as started twirling the small weapon of mass destruction, just for fun, thinking it'd never work anyway. I snapped gingerly toward Cuddles' buttokial area and realised 2 things pretty quickly.
1 - it was enough material to *snap*
2 - my aim is dead off
Cuddles, mouth full of paste looked at me with what I can only describe as his "why-did-you-do-this-to-me-I-thought-you-loved-me-OMG-I'm-going-to-puke" look. I panicked and giggled (a nervous reacion of mine, very bad) and started gushing "I'm sorry! I'm sorry!" I really was sorry. But also a little amazed that I *snapped* successfully on the first try! But also sorry sorry sorry.
I left the bathroom, ashamed and as Cuddles carefully slid into bed, he exclaimed "I really thought I was going to puke there! You perfectly hit my right nut". Hick Teeth ¶ 9:31 AM
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hee hee!! that's some gooooood monday morning reading.
poor cuddles. he still has use of the left one, yeah? well, children, and plenty of them, is still a good possibility.
poor cuddles. he still has use of the left one, yeah? well, children, and plenty of them, is still a good possibility.
um, not if he never wants to have sex with me again. (i.e, last night after said incident, he was "turned off")
sigh
sigh
way to turn off your man, hick! I am left wondering how the 8x8 square of towel migrated between his cheeks in order to hit said ball! I am thninking that it is not so easy, and therefore you have completed an immense feat.
other things that should be avoided should you ever wish to have sex with cuddles again:
1. pushing balls into bady
2. pulling on balls to examine elasticity of sack
3. suck on balls and accidently swallow one
4. pull balls back in effort to see if, on the return, they will slap him in face
other things that should be avoided should you ever wish to have sex with cuddles again:
1. pushing balls into bady
2. pulling on balls to examine elasticity of sack
3. suck on balls and accidently swallow one
4. pull balls back in effort to see if, on the return, they will slap him in face
bwahahahahhahah!! OOTG, you have to stop, i can't take it!!
i guess you haven't tried points 1 through 4 on the c, cause from what I understand, he is still rarin to go .
"pulling on balls to examine elasticity of sack". you are TOO MUCH, my friend!!!!!
i guess you haven't tried points 1 through 4 on the c, cause from what I understand, he is still rarin to go .
"pulling on balls to examine elasticity of sack". you are TOO MUCH, my friend!!!!!
I think you might have misunderstood, I did not hit in between the cheeks so hard that it went past and onto the ball.
He was stading next to me, perdendicular, I AIMED for the bum, but missed be a few inches. A few inches to the right.
Also, I have done #1 by accident. I have done #2 because I am curious. I have done # 3 but luckily, due to attachment of ball to body, it came back up. I have not done #4 because, thankfully, I knew the answer beforehand by the relieving fact that Cuddles sack is just not that long.
#4 makes me wonder what The C's looks like. Does he need to tuck them into his socks?
So have I resigned myself to a life sans sex?
And yes, I do know, you used balls 5 times.
He was stading next to me, perdendicular, I AIMED for the bum, but missed be a few inches. A few inches to the right.
Also, I have done #1 by accident. I have done #2 because I am curious. I have done # 3 but luckily, due to attachment of ball to body, it came back up. I have not done #4 because, thankfully, I knew the answer beforehand by the relieving fact that Cuddles sack is just not that long.
#4 makes me wonder what The C's looks like. Does he need to tuck them into his socks?
So have I resigned myself to a life sans sex?
And yes, I do know, you used balls 5 times.
You all need to check out "puppetry of the penis, the ancient art of genital orgamy" The things they can do with their balls will astound and amaze! (and give you legit excuse to practise with something/one at home!)
I knew him too... and as I remember, I knew his "unit" as well, and I don't remember it being unusually stretchy, or even that big, now that i think about it
(hickteeth, i am thinking of the right guy, right?)
(hickteeth, i am thinking of the right guy, right?)
# posted by 
: 1:27 PM
: 1:27 PM
I don't know if you are....
The opposite of him would be "outgoing" IYKWIM (think of his name). If this makes no sense to you, it's not the same guy.
who are you thinking of???
The opposite of him would be "outgoing" IYKWIM (think of his name). If this makes no sense to you, it's not the same guy.
who are you thinking of???
i'm thinking of someone i met in israel, who you somehow (and i don't remember how) became friends with too...very "shy". very small penis too. but you never knew that.
# posted by : 3:12 PM
: 3:12 PM
really it's small?
Then why would be want to advertise that?
Or maybe.... he didn't know!!! youch, what a way to find out.
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Then why would be want to advertise that?
Or maybe.... he didn't know!!! youch, what a way to find out.
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